Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Women spend 3 hours re-doing partner's chores.

An article on The Telegraph website makes the above claim and then goes on to list a 'Top 20' of poorly performed jobs. These are obviously generalisations, but come on! Seriously?

1. Wipe worktops after washing up
If they don't look that bad why bother? Furthermore, many households use their dishcloths to do this which have been proven to harbour potentially dangerous levels of bacteria, due to being left around for too long etc. Therefore, it is highly likely that although it appears to make things cleaner, by using dirty cloths (they should be replenished daily) these women may in fact be spreading more dirt than they are cleaning up! If you're interested, apparently, we are advised to used disposable kitchen towels. 

2. Plumping cushions
Someone's only going to sit on them and flatten them. So the point is...? 

3. Straightening and flattening the duvet 
Just how many people's daily commute involves travelling through your bedroom? I can see the headlines now: SHOCK – The Neal's Duvet in Disarray!

4. Cleaning the oven 
Since we heat our food to the required to temperature to not only cook it, but also kill off any harmful bacteria, surely that same heat cleanses the oven? If we're talking about visible debris – it's not hurting anyone is it? And whose going to check inside your oven anyway? Okay, if it starts to burn, yeah, take it out – but that's okay because it's a manly thing. "Me man, me prevent fire – me hero."

5. Failing to plump pillows on the bed 
Oh please! See above comments concerning cushions.

6. Not straightening bottom bed sheet 
Unless someone does an impromptu inspection, the only people that are going to know about the state of your bottom sheet is you and your spouse (one would hope anyway!). It's when your man starts to straighten the sheets and puff the pillows that perhaps you should start to worry...

7. Not putting things into drawers tidily 
Words fail me. 

8. Not returning things to their rightful home 
Aha, but who is to decide where an item's proper place is? Perhaps the man has just decided that the place his dear partner uses for the 'thing' is not in fact suitable. He therefore chooses to re-home it, probably by keeping it in an more readily accessible place.

9. Not spacing out wet clothes whilst hanging drying 
It's all about efficiency. The more clothes you can get on a drier the better; he's just being frugal.

10. Not putting away wet dishes after washing up 
And why would you want to put away WET dishes?

11. Vacuuming in the middle of the room and not the edges 
There are different types of vacuuming. The full deep vacuum and then the 'Panic People Are Coming Round In 5 mins Vacuum'. Every vacuum doesn't have to be a deep clean - after all where do people tend to walk? Not many enter the house and then cling to the walls to spread their dirt there.

12. Ignores dirty mugs whilst washing up
Again, perhaps this is efficiency. I, myself, tend to re-use a single mug throughout the day - perhaps he hasn't finished with it...?

13. Separating darks from the lights when washing clothes
It's not always that black and white though... what do you do with the light greys and pastel colours...

14. Not pairing socks
But at least you don't end up with a sad sock because it's lost its other half.

15. Wearing shoes in the house after vacuuming
Isn't that what our guests do? You've just done your emergency vacuum, they come round and say, "Shall I take my shoes off?" And you reply, "Oh no, that's fine."

16. Leaves dirty washing on the floor next to the washing machine
It's damage control. In my experience the good lady of the house has got a master plan concerning when and how different loads are going to go in – it's practically a science. Unfortunately, not being educated in Washingology, I think the man humbly lays the garments down as close to the machine as he dare and is merely acknowledging the superior wisdom of his dear lady. Because, let's face it, if he stuffs his dark blue t-shirt into the load of whites, what's going to happen? So it could be seen as an act of thoughtfulness, care and damage control.

17. Doesn't shake clothes out when hanging them up 
Sorry, Washingology again.

18. Doesn't fold clothes before putting them away
Perhaps this is due to the specific and individual needs of each garment needing to be treated in a particular way. Get it wrong – you pay the price.

19. Doesn't decorate the bed with cushions when making it
Oh my life! Why would you do that anyway?

20. Loads the dishwasher incorrectly
Totally disagree. My duties include washing up and one quickly works out the most efficient way to use the available space in a dishwasher, ensuring the maximum amount of items are loaded, whilst allowing the washing arms to still rotate and thus everything to be cleaned. If this is not done, one ends up re-washing up. In fact, I am so passionate in my dislike for washing up, that I am the one who reloads the dishwasher after my wife has loaded it.

Now, I was going to compile a similar list of jobs that men find women don't complete satisfactorily. Unfortunately, I... erm... well... er, couldn't think of... Ahem. Let's not go there shall we!?!

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