Friendship... one day.

Last night my wife and I settled down to watch the film One Day. It's a tragic film based on a book with the same title, by David Nicholls and to my mind it presented two interesting ideas.

Firstly, the film is based around the friendship of Dexter and Emma. The are at University together, and whilst they nearly become lovers, they end up as close friends who aim to meet up on the same day every year (15 July). Their lives take them in different directions, but they always share an unbreakable bond of friendship that both enjoy and need. Throughout the twenty years the film covers, feelings inevitably fluctuate between friendship and love. What I found interesting was that no matter what they went through and who they were with, their friendship remained, sometimes strained, but it was there – an emotional link invisibly joining them together. Our friends can be like that. Sometimes we lose touch. Sometimes we don't speak for months, even years. But when reunited, if the friendship is based on a deep understanding of the hearts then it can be picked up and still work. I am thankful that I have a good number of friends like that.

The second thing that struck me was the tragedy. And here I do slightly, no, totally ruin the plot. After, many years of being 'just friends' their other relationships fall apart and they acknowledge and give into their mutual affection for each other. Life is good, but not always easy. Then through an accident one of them dies. All that time spent apart, now seems like such a waste, but there is no going back or rewind function. The unavoidable and horrible truth is that they are parted for ever.

It made me think that although good friendships can endure a lot, perhaps we shouldn't allow them to lay dormant for so long... because no one knows how long they or their loved ones have got. Depressing? Morose? Indeed, and that's the taste that the film left in my mouth. But afterall, it was only a story. As for our friends and family... that's real. Real people, real emotions, real friendships, real heartbreak, real joy. Perhaps it's time I picked up the phone or sent an email at least... because how will our friends know that we're thinking of them if we never make the time to tell them? Hmmm.

What is it with hairy armpits?

It's funny what keeps us awake at night. There I was, exhausted from a day's worth of work and woes, innocently laying my head to rest on my pillow, when a troubling thought presented itself to me. Hair. Now, I can understand the function of most areas of hair – on the arms, legs and head it acts as an early warning system for any contact and also helps preserve heat. But what about the armpits? What's the point?

In that strange place between sleep and consciousness my mind was troubled. It just seemed to serve no logical purpose (armpit hair, not my mind). And furthermore, how come in some cultures it's okay for women to sport full follicles, but in others, it's not. And let's face it, if most women in places like the US and the UK manage without it, how necessary is it?

I for one am not a fan of armpit hair. I tolerate my own, but if my wife was to abandon her usual shaving habits and decide to grow a small crop then I would find that most unfortunate. But this must be down to my cultural outlook rather than anything intrinsically wrong with under arm rugs. But for some reason our cultural seems to require women (and some men) to shave every area of their bodies... except of course the lucky hair that grows on the head. A good head of hair is something is prized – in fact whilst half the nation is intent on shaving, removing or plucking all bodily hair, the other half laments the thinning that occurs on the head. To have a full head of hair and to be hairless everywhere else is of such importance that men and women are willing to pay great sums of money to try and either cultivate or remove hair, depending on its whereabouts.

Anyway, the answer seems to be twofold. Firstly, it acts as a kind of lubricant to reduce friction. Secondly, and slightly strangely, it is to aid us in attracting members of the opposite sex. Apparently, it captures the nutrient-rich sweat and the resulting scent conveys a lot of information about the one who produced it.

So there we have it. I can sleep again, safe in the knowledge that armpit hair (and certain other areas), although not essential, does indeed have a function. But don't get me started on nasal and ear hair. I mean why when you hit a certain age does your body decide now is the appropriate time to start redirecting its precious hair growing resources from your scalp to other areas? Looks like another sleepless night coming my way...

I'm not a robot.

I wonder what was going through Marina's mind when she wrote this song? Whatever it was, this song has been going round and round my mind all day...

You've been acting awful tough lately
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately
But inside, you're just a little baby
It's okay to say you've got a weak spot
You don't always have to be on top
Better to be hated than love, love, loved for what you're not

You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable
You are not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

You've been hanging with the unloved kids
Who you never really liked and you never trusted
But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins
Never committing to anything
You don't pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings
Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing

I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable
I am not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

Can you teach me how to feel real?
Can you turn my power on?
Well, let the drum beat drop

Guess what? I'm not a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

Insightful sound bite from Timothy Keller...

"To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.

To be known and not loved is our greatest fear.

But to be fully known and truly loved, is well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretence, humbles us out of our self-righteouness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us."

Psalm 86 – Help, I can't cope!

A friend of mine was going through some almost unbelievably tough times. I was looking for something to encourage them and came across Psalm 86. It's King David's cry for help when his life is in danger. In his turmoil he turns to the Lord and cries out for help. Inspired by my friend's troubles, I realised this was a Psalm that everyone needs to hear. And so tomorrow, I'll be preaching on it. It's been tough and hard going to prepare, but I pray it will be a blessing. Because at some point everyone goes through times that they don't know how to deal with and whom to turn to. The answer is to turn to the Lord, because there is no one like Him and He is abounding in love.

Why?

Why? Such a small word, but with such big implications.

I guess we've all heard the child who repeatedly ask 'why' to an adult's answer, until eventually the adult feels exasperated and throws their hands up in frustration. There are many things we may want to know the answer to. Like, Why is there pain and suffering in the world? Another question might be, Why would we expect there not to be? Sometimes we have to accept that we'll never know the answer to some of those big 'Why' questions.

When something happens, often knowing why it has happened makes a huge difference. If I am hungry but there is no food, then knowing why helps me to deal with it. If a friend acts out of character and hurts me, knowing why can be the beginning of reconciliation and acceptance. If my car won't start in the morning, although the situation hasn't changed, if I know why then although still not ideal, somehow it makes a little sense.

Questions are good. They force us on to to seek out the truth, and in some circumstances can lead to obtain a greater understanding of a situation/person we thought we had grasped, but had only partly known.

So much confusion, heartache and problems could be avoided in this world if we only took the time to sit down together and work out why. Why did we fall out? Why did I do or say that? Why did things happen that way?

At the centre of the word why sits an 'h'. That should stand for honesty. But there comes the rub. Sometimes it is very hard to ask and answer why with honesty.

"Children spell love... T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham)

I think Dr Witham got this so right. We try to fit so much into our lives that we can be in danger of neglecting the ones we love the most. This doesn't just apply to our children, it applies to all our relationships – whether family or friends. If we care about someone, we should try and make time for them. People are important. I need to work at this a lot more.